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You know over 100 ways to say, "He's dead, Jim."
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By God, it took you over a year to do it...but you CAN do the Vulcan greeting!
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Your Vista Cruiser is armed with phasers.
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You ask your boyfriend if he's "fully functional".
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When you get stuck in traffic, you yell out, "Where's Scotty when I need him?!"
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You answer your flip phone, "Kirk here."
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You go to your microwave and bark "Tea! Earl Grey! HOT!!"
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Your bookcase has more than one shelf reserved for Trek Books.
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You bring Klingon dishes to potlucks.
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When reciting the alphabet for younger relatives, you grit your teeth when you get to "Q".
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You sing Klingon Opera while showering.
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Whenever you start your car you take your right index finger and point it ahead of you saying "Engage."
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You have ever considered getting Chakotay's tattoo.
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You can curse in Bajoran, Klingon, and Vulcan.
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You've owned a Bajoran earring.
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Whenever you go into the principal's office/your bosse's office, you say, "Today is a good day to die."
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You find Bajoran nose ridges, Vulcan ears, and/or Andorrean antenna attractive.
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Your dog's name is Picard.
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You order a personalized license plate....MINUETS.
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You've rooted for Picard and Crusher to hook up.
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You know what Imzadi means.
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You know how tribbles procreate.
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You understand IDIC.
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You're not completey dressed unless you've got your communicator pin on.
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You think blue is a normal color for alcoholic beverages.
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You know how to play 3-D chess.
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You are now the champion of 3-D chess!
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You know what a Vedek is.
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You personalize your motorcycle with groovy Klingon pictures.
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You've recorded every single Star Trek episode and have every single movie.
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Your father kind of resembles a Klingon.
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Never mind what your mother looks like.
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Someone follows you and you think they are a Romulan.
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Every bald man you see, you think is Patrick Stewart.
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You have your garage openers and/or remote controls set to "stun".
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You can name alphabetically all the women Kirk seduced.
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You've ever been in a fist fight over who is better Captain Picard or Captain Kirk.
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You've memorized every episode were Brent Spiner has messed up and used a contraction.
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You can recite Data's Ode to Spot from memory alone.
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Your girlfriend tells you, "It's either me or Star Trek!" and you wave good-bye.
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You go into Starbucks and order a Raktajino.
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You know the diference between warp, transwarp, and slipstream drives.
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You can name the bridge crew from the original series, the names and ranks of the bridge crew from Generations, and the names, ranks and species from the bridge crew of Voyager.
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You can tell an episode within the first two seconds of the opening shot. That includes the full title.
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You're familiar with the "curse of the odd movies" as far as the Start Trek franchise went...
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You've ever looked at your boss in anger and said: "DAMN IT JIM, I'M A.....
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You're ticked say "Sir, I protest, I am NOT a merry man!"
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You have a substantial collection of the original 1970s Star Trek figures from Meco, including the Enterprise Bridge playset.
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Bonus points if you're one of the few hundred in the USA who managed to get the limited run "Planet Playset" with the man-eating plant.
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If your screen saver says "Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated"...
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You know what all of the vessels named "Enterprise" were, and can name them in order, and name their captains.
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You produced a mock episode in your garage, complete with original fully detailed model of the USS Enterprise.
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You know what time Star Trek is on in every country.
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You still wear your 1984 "Beam me up, Scotty, there is no inteligent life on this planet." shirt. ((I WANT IT!))
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You dream daily on how to kill your most hated character *coughWESLEY CRUSHERcough*
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You say "Mr. Sulu, take us home" when your plane takes off.
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Females throwing heavy objects and roaring is a serious turn-on for you.
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You see kids razzing the latest Star Trek movie and think, Set phasers to kill...naw!...KILL!!!
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You make constant remarks on how your cats are not as cool as Tribbles.
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You clog the ventilation system with cottonballs and claim that Tribbles have invaded.
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You think the only good ears are pointy ears.
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What, you thought I was joking?
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RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, NONBELIEVER.
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You see a hairball, screech, "TRIBBLE KILL!" and attack it with a knife.
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You've ever ended an *important* meeting with "MAKE IT SO!"
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You visit someone, and all you can think to say is, "Good tea. Nice house."
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You get in an elevator and say what floor you want.
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Questions like "Would the Borg Queen get PMS?" keep you up all night.
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You insist on calling your physician "Bones".
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You've studied the language similarities between Elvish, and Klingon.
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You've renamed your Furbys Tribbles.
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You've feared that 'your enemy' at school may adapt to your spitwads after six shots.
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You own, and occasionally wear, a t-shirt that says "I Grok Spock."
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Your first-aid kit include a tricorder.
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Your blow up doll looks like Riker.
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You ask your mechanic to fix the hesitation in your car when it hits Warp 3.
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Your bumpersticker says "Human by birth, Klingon by choice".
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Or better yet "Human by birth, Klingon by the grace of Kayless."
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You pattern your wedding around Keiko and O'Brien's.
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You never use contractions.
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You wish your mom was more like Troi's mom.
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Your computer has assimilated you.
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You're faced with a decision, you say, "Mm-hm, I see. Suggestions?"
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You respond to every problem by saying "raise shields".
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There's a town nearby by the name of Enterprise...((No, seriously, there's a town in Utah called Enterprise!! O_O))
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You have vaporized cars with your keychain phaser.
